| Posted: 24 Aug 2006 20:49 |
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> > > Things to do when ordering a pizza by phone:
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
> > >
> > > When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this
> > > time."
> > >
> > > Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
> > >
> > > Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
> > >
> > > Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're
>
> > > going with the lowest bidder.
> > >
> > > When they ask for your phone # give them theirs and see if they notice.
> > >
> > > Answer their questions with questions.
> > >
> > > Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
> > >
> > > Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song.
> > >
> > > Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
> > >
> > > Stutter on the letter "p."
> > >
> > > Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
> > >
> > > Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
> > >
> > > Change your accent every three seconds.
> > >
> > > Ask if you get to ke e p the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of
>
> > > relief.
> > >
> > > Ask what the order taker is wearing.
> > >
> > > Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak.
> When
> > > the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at
> > the
> > > top of your lungs.
> > >
> > > Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called
> > you.
> > >
> > > Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
> > >
> > > Imitate the order taker's voice.
> > >
> > > Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from
> > an
> > > equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
> > >
> > > Put the accent on the last syllab le of "pepperoni." Use the long "i"
> > sound.
> > >
> > > If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK.
> > That'll
> > > be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
> > >
> > > Eliminate verbs from your speech.
> > >
> > > Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid
> > behind
> > > some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise
> > > him/her.
> > >
> > > Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
> > >
> > > Ask to see a menu.
> > >
> > > Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
> > >
> > > Ask if they have any idea what is at stake w it h this pizza.
> > >
> > > Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
> > >
> > > If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person
> > > taking the order to stop doing that.
> > >
> > > Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
> > >
> > > Psychoanalyze the order taker.
> > >
> > > Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
> > >
> > > Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
> > >
> > > Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and
> > didn't
> > > mean it.
> > >
> > > If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed
> by
> > > your sweet words."
> > >
> > > Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose h air s.
> > >
> > > Try to talk while drinking something.
> > >
> > > Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . .
> > > action!"
> > >
> > > Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
> > >
> > > Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
> > >
> > > Be vague in your order.
> > >
> > > Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be
> > my
> > > last entry."
> > >
> > > State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to
> > get.
> > >
> > > Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these
> > be
> > > included in the pizza.
> > >
> > > Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt
> > ; th at.
> > >
> > > When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
> > >
> > > Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
> > >
> > > Put them on hold.
> > >
> > > Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent
> > orders.
> > >
> > > Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say
> > "I
> > > said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
> > >
> > > Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say
> > "No
> > > mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
> > >
> > > When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated
> > again,
> > > change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
> > >
> > > When you've given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I
> > hate
> > > math."
> > >
> > > Haggle.
> > >
> > > Order a one-inch pizza.
> > >
> > > Order term life insurance.
> > >
> > > When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out,
> won't
> > > we?"
> > >
> > > Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If
> > he/she
> > > says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
__________________"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.-Psalm 51:12
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| Posted: 25 Aug 2006 00:51 |
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lol here's some
52 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart!
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1. Take shopping carts for the purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you wish.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Woah, magic!"
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "Hmmmm....I thought the customer was always right!"
21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.
52. Hide in the circular clothing racks and when people browse through say "Pick me, pick me!".
__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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| Posted: 25 Aug 2006 04:27 |
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Quote:
. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
I do that ALL the time!
__________________"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.-Psalm 51:12
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| Posted: 25 Aug 2006 05:29 |
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Quote:
52. Hide in the circular clothing racks and when people browse through say "Pick me, pick me!".
My friends did this and they got it on tape, the gal screamed and ran to security and the camera was confiscated. I took no part in it but it was soo funny.
__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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| Posted: 25 Aug 2006 15:54 |
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Quote:
My friends did this and they got it on tape, the gal screamed and ran to security and the camera was confiscated. I took no part in it but it was soo funny.
thats so funny!!
__________________"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.-Psalm 51:12
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| Posted: 09 Sep 2006 15:59 |
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__________________"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not Fail?"
Into the Twin Towers ran the 343 Firefighters
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| Posted: 22 Sep 2006 23:21 |
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i got a new one, i made this one up myself
Real Fun Things To Do at a Restaurant:
1. When in a fancy restaurant, order stuff like a Whopper Junior w/ fries and a milkshake
2. Do 31 and ask if it comes with a toy
3. After ordering your dinner, walk back into the kitchens and supervise the making of your food, making sure that they add just the right ammount of ingrediants
4. While you are ordering your food, dont say anything, simply spell the item that you want as if your trying to keep it from a small child
5. When going to a restaurant that you have never been to before, order "The Usual" and see how the waitor responds
6. Bring your own menu from a different restaurant and compare prices in front of your waitor, get up and gather your things, and tell him "Never mind, this place sells their food for less than you!"
7. While ordering, pretend you speak a different language and can't communicate with the waitor
8. Ask the manager WHY must the employees wash their hands after going to the bathroom
9. Order a small scoop of ice cream, then go out and find a group of people in the restaurant, start singing at the top of your lungs " Happy Happy Birthday from all of us to you! We wish it was our birthday so we could party too! Hey! " and walk away without saying anything
10. Find out if you can order a hamburger with out the meat or toppings, when the waitor asks you if that means you just want the bun, say NO, I want a hamburger w/out meat or toppings!
11. Discuss with the waitor what it's like to have to wait on people day after day
12. If that restaurant serves complimentary bread, eat as much as you can, order more, get a box and leave inconspicuously
13. When they bring out your food, send it back and tell them thats not what you wanted, do this for over and over agin until they throw you out
14. If you see a couple getting ready to eat, pull up a chair and eat with them! If they don't tell you to go away, ask them if they will pay for your meal
15. When they say, "____ Party of 2" over the loudspeaker, go to the front counter and ask if you should've brought a gift
16. When you walk by tables with half eaten food grab it and put it into a bag
17. Do #16, instead take the tips
18. Your king of the world! Show it by standing on your table and telling everyone!
19. When you see other people ordering and the waitor walks away, chase them down and tell them that the person wanted to change their order and couldnt catch up with him, let him know the order changes
20. Ask to see a menu in japanese ( note: make sure it is not a japanese restaurant )
21. If you went for lunch but it's to late and the lunch menu, tell them that you can just wait around til tomorrow's lunch
22. Go to the bar and order your dinner there
23. Tell the other customers that you gound a thumb in your chili, see how many people get up and leave
24. Build monuments out of the crayons they give you to color with
25. Bend back all the silverware
__________________"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.-Psalm 51:12
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| Posted: 23 Sep 2006 01:59 |
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I am so going to go and do #19 at the Outback
__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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| Posted: 23 Sep 2006 02:40 |
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| Posted: 23 Sep 2006 02:43 |
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lol...
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| Posted: 23 Sep 2006 06:26 |
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__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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| Posted: 23 Sep 2006 18:15 |
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Quote:
19. When you see other people ordering and the waitor walks away, chase them down and tell them that the person wanted to change their order and couldnt catch up with him, let him know the order changes
??????Quote:
I am so going to go and do #19 at the Outback
do u mean #20???
__________________"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.-Psalm 51:12
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| Posted: 24 Sep 2006 03:34 |
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no...I mean 19...
__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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| Posted: 25 Sep 2006 04:15 |
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__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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| Posted: 26 Sep 2006 05:38 |
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Don't just bend the silverware....make sculptures.
If you get a mean waitress, leave them a coupon for batteries as a tip.
If you get a lousy waiter, ask for a glass of water and some extra napkins before you pay the check. Put a dollar in the glass, place napkin on top, and while holding the napkins securely over the glass, flip it over so the glass sits upside down, on the water-sealed mushy napkins. Ice water gives the bill a kaleidoscope effect.
Noisy jerks at the next table? Empty a packet of sweet n low into your hand and 'sneeze' it in their general direction. This usually reduces people to looking like horses eating peanut butter and reduces their ability to make noise.
Enjoy.
__________________Beneath this mask is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea Mr Creedy and ideas are bulletproof.
~V~
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| Posted: 27 Sep 2006 00:19 |
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lol
__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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| Posted: 03 Oct 2006 00:54 Last Edited By: Aerolectric |
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I heard this and thought it was great:
You know how boring going to services are? Either at a church or a synagauge? Well one day a boy about the age of 6 was looking at the wall that had many names on it. The head of the church/synagauge came up to him and asked what he was doing? The boy responded in a question, what are all thoes names up there for? The head of the church/synagauge said those are the names of the people that we honor who died in the service. They boy's eyes grow big and scared and he asks, was that the moring or the evening service?
__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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| Posted: 04 Oct 2006 05:08 |
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Another from the revenge files:
Got a counterfeit bill and want to get rid of it?
Collection Plate.
__________________Beneath this mask is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea Mr Creedy and ideas are bulletproof.
~V~
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| Posted: 05 Oct 2006 19:44 |
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lol
__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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| Posted: 05 Oct 2006 21:30 |
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oh man..so many things I aspire to do
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| Posted: 06 Oct 2006 02:45 |
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haha
__________________"As long as you question your sanity, you will still have it." ~ Nightshade
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Buy Mortal Kombat Video Games
Buy Dark Knight DVDs
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