THE BASIC SITUATION:
Clark is part of a time-traveling SG-1 which corrects changes in time.
These changes in time are created by the Joker, who has been given Q-like powers and abilities by rogue Q, powerful beings able to manipulate space and time.
The guys from the TV show “The Big Bang Theory” are part of Team MacGyver, which connects together the means of space-time transport so the Clark/SG-1 team, along with other teams, can go wherever they need to in space and time.
THE CURRENT SITUATION:
The “Big Bang” guys are back in the past with Kirk and Spock, who have been living in Smallville ever since Clark saved Edith Keeler and changed Earth's history.
Aboard the timemobile operated by Team MacGyver, the team's two Men In Black have pulled phasers on two mysterious visitors.
“COSMIC VISITORS”
ANOTHER SMALLVILLE/STARGATE/STAR TREK STORY-ADVENTURE
ALSO STARRING THE GUYS FROM ”THE BIG BANG THEORY”
The man in plaid, the one the woman called “Jonathan,” laughed as he held up his hands. “What are you guys doing?”
“Yeah, haven't we been through this like twice now already?” the woman said.
“It's one of the Joker's favorite tricks,” M said with a stern look.
“Yeah,” from L. “He sends people in a familiar form.”
“Then wham! They betray us.”
“Jonathan” nodded in understanding. “Look, guys. If you want to verify who we are, Mind-Meld with us. Then you'll see who we really are.”
A hesitant L and M looked at each other. Then the two men lowered their weapons, and they were swallowed up in a great white light.
A familiar room appeared around them. The Kent kitchen. Only it had a white glow to it.
“Thanks for the milk and cookies, Missus Kent.” Leonard Hofstadter waved from the back door.
“They were almost as good as cookies from my 'me-ma,'” Sheldon Cooper said cheerfully.
“Sheldon's nickname for his grandmother,” the woman whispered to M. M nodded.
“Now we're off to save the universe,” Howard Wolowitz said. With wide eyes, Raj Koothrappali smiled and gave two thumbs up. .
“We're off to save multiple universes, really,” Leonard said.
“You have a wonderful time,” Martha Kent said with a wave. “'Bye!”
“Jonathan” stood in front of the sink, his arms crossed, one leg casually crossed over another. L and M stood next to him as they observed the scene.
Captain James T. Kirk sat at the kitchen table drinking milk out of the bottle.
“Uh uh uh,” Martha said, waving her finger.
“How'd you like those cookies, Captain Kirk?” Colonel Jack O'Neill asked from across the table.
“They were quite good,” Kirk said. He nodded toward Martha. “Thank you, Missus Kent. But I would like to get home.”
“We all would,” O'Neill said. “After all, there's no place like home.”
Clark Kent sat between them, not saying a word. He had the stare of a zombie. Martha placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“You just do what you can to get better, Clark. So you can change everything back.”
The blond woman held out her hands as she spoke to L and M. “So you see, guys. We know the situation. And there's no Joker in sight. If we were minions of the Joker, you'd see him here.” She watched as L and M examined and searched their surroundings.
“What are you guys doing?” O'Neill asked with cookies in his mouth.
“Looking for the Joker,” M said.
“He's not here,” O'Neill said as he grabbed another cookie.
“I have to admit,” L said. “I don't see any Joker.”
“Me neither,” M said.
The blond woman smiled. “So you see, we're not imposters.”
The scene was swallowed up in white light.
Phasers down, L and M blinked their eyes.
“I'm sold,” L said.
“Good enough for me,” M agreed. “Let's go find the guys.”
The Joker retreated to his throne room, fists clenched, smoke rising above his green hair. Scowling and glaring, he sat down on his throne festooned with styrofoam clown heads and marble carvings of jesters.. There he kicked some of the pets he kept at his feet. The Penguin. The Riddler. But not Catwoman. Her he just argued with.
True, he shouldn't be this angry. The one called “Jonathan” had simply driven away one of his mental projections from the timemobile. He had more than one mental projection out there, including the one currently inside Clark's mind.
That's right. Ain't gone yet, Clarkie-boy. And I've got more than one trick to play.
But naturally he would like to be there to personally guide and direct his Clark creation. But that he could do once he took control of Clark's mind.
It was getting taxing, though. Not so much the mental projections. Manipulating so many universes.
Why was it the fun of messing with multiple realities had to be so much work?
But wait. There was still a lot of fun stuff going on.
As he settled into his throne, the Joker realized a small setback didn't matter.
He still had one or two more surprises for the people aboard that timemobile.
One surprise was an invisible packet of Replicators.
The spider-like robots would consume the timemobile, sending all the passengers into different time periods.
Clark would be trapped in the past, with no cure. Besides unleashing a bunch of chaos in past history, he would be unable to restore the timeline. Ever.
The Joker would keep SG-1 too busy to even look for him.
The cosmic beings would not be able to use their long-range time-space transporters because that would just destabilize Clark and aggravate his condition even more. In fact, if the cosmic beings used the transporters, Clark's condition would deteriorate so badly he could never be cured. .
The Joker howled with laughter at his own cleverness.
There were other things to be amused by. Captain Kirk believed Uhura and Scotty were living in the past somewhere.
Instead they were prisoners of one of the Joker's most powerful allies. Yes, Uhura and Scotty were safely under lock and key.
They were alive. But only for now.
Soon Doctor McCoy, about to be plucked out of Smallville, would join them.
And soon the Joker should have control of Clark's mind.
If all his other mental manipulations failed, the Joker always had a “Plan B” to infiltrate Clark's mind.
It was similar to when that Phantom fellow posed as a doctor and made Clark think he was in a place called Fairview.
Just like with the Phantom, the Joker had a mental “Plan B” for Clark that involved Lana.
The Joker giggled. Clark would stay trapped in his own mind while he, the Joker, was free to roam and rule. .
Oh, it was far from over. Instead....
Chaos throughout the multiple universes!
Oh, what joy! Clenching his fists, the Joker did a little jig on top of his throne.
How delightful of the rogue Q—and now one rogue Ancient—to give him access to Replicators. What delightful toys!
Like a bird, the Joker perched on top of his throne. That brute the Punisher. Archie. MacGyver. Their two Men In Black. Those silly “Big Bang” boys. They would all be lost in the past. That goof Sheldon would be frantic. Where would he sit? Where would he get his Thai food?
Putting on his biggest yellow smile, the Joker laughed a deep hearty villain laugh, and it echoed throughout the white void.
“Yeah, so that's what's been happening with the Guardian of Forever,” Leonard Hofstadter said. “It has all kinds of new capabilities from the Q and the Ancients. Yeah, it sends teams around in time and space and communicates mentally with all of them. It's a lot of different from the Guardian of Forever you guys met.”
“Fascinating,” Spock said.
“And all because of this big crisis,” Kirk said. “These 'Q' going rogue.”
“Dude,” Raj Koothrappali said. “Maybe you shouldn't tell them all this.”
“Yeah, it could change the future,” Howard Wolowitz said.
“It's true,” Sheldon Cooper said. “We don't want to pollute the timeline.”
Leonard gave them a look. “Guys, look around you. See all the people wearing Starfleet uniforms? The timeline is pretty much polluted already. The future has definitely been changed.”
“Unfortunately so,” Kirk said with a slightly pained look.
“A most logical point, Mister Hofstadter,” Spock said.
“You've got me there, dude,” Raj said.
With a big grin, Leonard looked from Kirk to Spock. “We're really big fans,” he gushed.,
Spock's eyebrow shot up. “Indeed?” he said.
Kirk grinned. “Someone else said something similar to us once. A Colonel Jack O-Neill.”
“Yes,” Spock said. “On the planet of the Guardian of Forever. He said, 'Love your work. Both of you.'”
Briefly standing on his toes, Leonard beamed. “That sounds like Colonel O'Neill all right.” He put on his self-important look. “Yeah. We know Colonel O'Neill. We know everyone in S-G-One. We know a lot of people.” He lifted his chin. “We know MacGyver.”
Kirk glanced at Spock. “I don't think I know that name.”
Placing his hands behind his back, Spock recited “An old Earth expression, Captain. To 'MacGyver' means to find innovative solutions to technical or mechanical problems. Much as Mister Scott does.”
“Hey, I never thought of that,” Raj said with a big smile. “For you guys, Scotty is your MacGyver.”
“That may indeed be so, Mister Koothrappali,” Spock said.
Leonard was practically beaming. “This is so cool. Just hearing you guys talk the way you do.”
Spock gave a look. “I might ask: who else would we talk like?”
“See?” Leonard said. “Like that right there. That's just like something you would say.”
“That's so Spock,” Sheldon said with an appreciative grin. “I got to meet Spock!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands like a little boy.
Leonard smiled. “See, Sheldon? It's not so bad after all.”
“And what should we call you gentlemen?” Kirk asked with a smile.
“We're the 'Big Bang' guys,” Leonard said.
“Indeed,” Spock said. “A most curious name.”
“See?” Raj said with a broad smile. “Spock is just like a Vulcan Jerry Seinfeld.”
The Vulcan frowned, Kirk along with him.
Howard leaned in toward his friend. “I don't think they get that reference, Raj.”
“Who is this 'Jerry Seinfeld?'” Spock asked.
“Oh, he's a comedian,” Raj explained. “Just like Gallagher or Jim Gaffigan or Carrot Top. Those guys.”
“Ah,” Spock said. “The giants.”
Raj adopted his very serious look; it was almost like a studious frown. “You know, I still want to go on a date with Lieutenant Uhura and Yeoman Rand.”
“Yeah, Raj,” Howard said. “We can go on group dates. You, me, Bernadette. Lana. Doctor McCoy and Yeoman Barrows. Chloe, Leonard. Some other sexy yeomen. And Chekov, and Scotty. A big dinner party! With the whole Enterprise crew!”
Sheldon tapped them both on the shoulder. “Will you stop that?” he hissed.
“Yeah, guys,” Leonard said. “Captain Kirk and Spock have lost all those people.”
“Regrettably so,” Spock said quietly.
“For now,” Kirk added.
A moment of silence.
“My apologies, Captain Kirk and Spock,” Sheldon said in a quiet drawl.
“Yeah, sorry,” Raj said as he and Howard stood with heads bowed.
Leonard faced Kirk and Spock. “Don't worry, you guys. Everything will turn back to normal somehow. It always does in Smallville.” He grinned. “Like when someone learns Clark's secret. They get amnesia, and everything goes back to the way it was.” Leonard scrunched up his face as he thought, then: “Or else they die, or they go into a coma. Or they go insane or they leave Smallville.”
Frowning, Leonard shook his head. “You know what? Just focus on my main point: Everything will go back to normal.”
A grinning Kirk nodded. “We appreciate the confidence.”
“However illogical,” Spock said.
“Oh,” Sheldon said. “Leonard is often illogical. But Penny? She's our neighbor across the hall. She's even worse.”
“Sheldon,” Leonard said. “Let's be careful what we tell them.”
“Why?” Sheldon said. “Like you said, the timeline's already been polluted. And how is my telling them about Penny going to change anything? Really, Leonard.”
That was when the timemobile appeared. Parked right next to the Talon.
“I get to press 'wipe' this time,” Howard insisted.
“No, dude. I do.” .
A ramp opened. It was just like the ramp of the Millennium Falcon.
Leonard and Sheldon gave Kirk and Spock the Vulcan hand salute, Sheldon wearing his biggest smile as he did.
“I appreciate your assistance,” Spock said.
While Howard and Raj lagged behind, Leonard and Sheldon hurried up the ramp. MacGyver stood at the top.
“I got to meet Spock!” Sheldon exclaimed in a Dawn-Stiles nails-on-chalkboard voice.
Wincing slightly from the voice, MacGyver patted Sheldon lightly on the shoulder. “That's great, Sheldon.” Moving to the end of the ramp, he spoke in a firm but apologetic voice. “Captain Kirk. Mister Spock. I'm sorry but I can't let you board.”
“Tough break, guys,” Howard said.
“Yeah,” from Raj. “It's like you're trapped on 'Gilligan's Island.'”
“I don't think they get that reference either, Raj,” Howard muttered.
“Guys, get on board,” MacGyver said. They boarded.
But Spock and Kirk stayed behind.
TO CONTINUE THIS SECTION, READ:
TIMELINE INVADERS
Inside Clark's mind, the Joker held on tightly to Clark's neck.
“Just stay down, Clark,” he said. “Don't get up.”
“No.” Clark gritted his teeth as he looked around.
He recognized the place.
This was Vulcan.
Something very painful happened here.
“Yes, Clark,” the Joker said. “Remember.”
“No,” Clark said.
Clark knocked his head against the Joker's head. The Joker simply laughed then he grabbed Clark by the hair and they both flew through a cloudless sky.
TO CONTINUE THIS SECTION, READ
“CLARK AND THE JOKER FIGHT”
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