Clark Kent, working with a time-traveling SG-1, ended up in the past where he saved Edith Keeler.
This resulted in Captain Kirk and Spock living in Smallville.
A timemobile, operated by Team MacGyver, appeared to be their chance to escape. But the team's captain will not allow them to board.
“TIMELINE INVADERS”
A SMALLVILLE/STARGATE/STAR TREK STORY-ADVENTURE
ALSO STARRING THE GUYS FROM “THE BIG BANG THEORY”
Standing outside the timemobile, Spock and Kirk looked at each other.
“I'm afraid, Captain, this is not our means of escape,” Spock said.
Kirk looked at MacGyver. “May I ask why?”
Arms crossed, MacGyver looked away. “For one thing, Captain Kirk, you're a married man.”
“That's true,” Kirk said. “But I thought if I went with you, I could change all this back.”
“No can do,” MacGyver said. “Clark and S-G-One will have to do that.” At Kirk's inquiring look, MacGyver held up his hand. “Here's the thing: If you were to come with us, you could do some good. But even though it may not make sense, you'll do even more good if you stay here.”
Spock frowned. “May I ask: how is it you know all this?”
“Yes,” Kirk said with a grin. “Are you some kind of 'ascended being?' An Organian perhaps? Or a Metron?”
MacGyver grinned in return. “Definitely not. Just an ordinary guy trying to help out as much as he can.” He put on a very serious look to match the one worn by Spock. “I know this will sound kind of strange. But I saw a little bit of the future. You can see for yourself if you like.” MacGyver gestured to his face.
Nodding, Spock placed his fingers on MacGyver's face. For a moment, MacGyver's face was blank then he blinked his eyes.
“So there you have it,” he said quietly. “Sorry again, guys.”
“Do not trouble yourself, Mister MacGyver,” Spock said in a quiet hoarse whisper.. “As you know, it is for the best in the long run. For many.”
“Chloe says whatever you picked up from the guys through your mind-meld will stay with you even after we do a wipe.” MacGyver offered the Vulcan hand salute. “Live long and prosper, Mister Spock.”
Spock returned the salute. “Live long and prosper, Mister MacGyver.”
MacGyver climbed the ramp, and it closed. After a brief yellow flash, the timemobile was gone.
“So,” Kirk said. “Our four unusual visitors. What did you get from your mind-meld, Spock?”
“You may see for yourself, Captain.”
A bright white flash followed.
Then they stood on the bridge of the Enterprise. They both wore their Starfleet uniforms, and they both looked young again.
“Spock, what is this?” Kirk asked.
“An experience known as Mind-Meld,” Spock explained as he stepped down from his science station. “Our four unusual visitors used it to join their minds.” He gestured to the screen. .”As you can see on the viewscreen, we continue to act outwardly even as we share our thoughts in this world of the mind..”
The viewscreen displayed Spock and Kirk walking along in silence.
Standing next to the captain's chair, Spock placed his hands behind his back. “This experience allows us private mental communication without the need for physical contact. A way to share our thoughts in a familiar simulated environment.”
Kirk sat in the captain's chair. “Spock, this is remarkable.”
“Remarkable indeed.”
Gazing up at the screen, Kirk held out an open hand. “We have something of home even as we travel through this strange land.”
“Indeed,” Spock said. “That strange land being Smallville.”
“It's like we're already home,” Kirk whispered.
“Our journey home is just beginning,” Spock said. “I received a number of images and visions, quick flashes really, from our four unusual visitors.”
“The 'Big Bang' guys,” Kirk said with a smirk. .
“Yes, Captain.” Spock looked serious. “I shall use the 'kel-no-reem' to analyze these mental images in greater detail. But for now we have a basic blueprint of the future.”
“That's of some help,” Kirk said.
“There is something that is not so reassuring.” Spock pressed a red button on the command chair.
The viewscreen showed the scene involving SG-1, the different Spocks, the two Clarks, and the exploding robot head.
“So,” Kirk said. “It looks like you make it back to that day, though you're quite old. S-G-One also makes it back with our friend Clark Kent. But it looks like you all meet an unhappy end. And the timeline stays the same.”
“Appearances can be deceiving, Captain. As with most things involving time travel, this may only appear to be the end..”
“Conjecture, Spock?”
“Hard fact, Captain.” He raised an eyebrow. “I have, after all, seen the future.”
Kirk grinned. “If it was anyone else, Spock, I'd say he was insane.” He crossed his legs. “What do we do during our long wait?”
Spock stepped closer to the screen. “We live our lives. We move forward one step at a time, doing whatever we can, Jim. In the end it will serve a purpose. And,” he said, “a more complete blueprint of the future will be given to us later.”
“Hey, where's Kirk and Spock?” Leonard asked as the timemobile engines rumbled.
MacGyver held out a flat palm in a “no way” gesture. “Sorry, guys. You know the rules about interfering in events.”
“It was already interfered with,” Leonard said with a shrug and a sad look.
“We were going to take them to the Cheesecake Factory,” Sheldon said in a moaning whiny voice.
“Sorry, Sheldon. No can do.” As MacGyver retreated to the next room, the door opened and closed with the “whisk” noise heard on the Enterprise.
“I guess it doesn't matter,” Sheldon said quietly with a pouting look. “It may be called the Cheesecake Factory but it's not very efficient.”
“It's for the best,” Howard said. “We don't want to end up in Belle Reve.” With a glum look, Raj silently nodded agreement.
“He-e-e-ey!” someone said. “You guys made it.”
There was Chloe with her million-watt smile and squint-eyes.
“Chloe!” Leonard exclaimed. “You're all right!” He took both her hands.
With a flickering smile, Chloe pulled her hands away.
“Yeah, once Clark went all Hulk and Doomsday on us, my teleport ability automatically kicked in.” Though she grinned, she also looked apologetic. “Sorry I couldn't take you guys with me. I'm not like Alicia Baker.”
“I'd take you over Alicia Baker any day,” Howard said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Chloe winced. “Like Penny might say, 'Kind of creepy, Howard.'”
“Yeah, Howard,” Leonard said.
“Why?” Howard clutched his belt buckle as he leaned in toward Raj. “This isn't teenage Chloe. This Chloe's all grown up.”
“Still,” Chloe said as she briefly grimaced. “The thing is I couldn't take you guys with me because you had to meet Kirk and Spock.” Again with the smile-apology as she winced. “Even if the way there was kind of rough.”
“Yeah,” Leonard said with his own grimace. “Not the best way to go.”
“At least we didn't fall hundreds of feet,” Howard murmured.
“I got to meet Spock!” Sheldon exlaimed, clapping his hands and jumping.
Leonard looked mildly annoyed. “Seriously, Chloe. Couldn't you have just told us where to land the timemobile?”
Head tilted back, Chloe gave him a look. “And let our Clark creature escape into the past?”
Leonard briefly considered then nodded. “Good point.”
Chloe offered a light laugh. “Sometimes we have to go through something bad on the way to doing something good. As Tess Mercer once pointed out, Jesus had to die before he saved the world.”
“Interesting point,” Leonard said.
“I got to meet Spock!”
“Ah, Tess Mercer,” Howard said with a dreamy look. Raj whispered in his ear. “That's true, Raj. Many of the women on Smallville do have very big eyes.”
“So,” Chloe said. “How'd it go with Kirk and Spock?”
“It went great,” Leonard said with a big smile. “Spock mind-melded with each one of us.”
“I got to mind-meld with Spock!”
“Whatever you wanted passed on, we did it.” Leonard gave her a sly look. “But you probably already knew that. Miss-I've-Seen-The-Future-With-The-Doctor-Fate-Helmet.”
Chloe grinned. “I had a pretty good sense. By the way, have you met our latest passenger?”
Chloe gestured to a blond woman. When the woman turned and smiled, a bright glow hid her face. The guys reacted to the glow, gasping, groaning, wincing, and covering their eyes.
“Oh, sorry,” the woman said. As she waved a hand over her face, the glow vanished, and she had a normal smiling face.
“Penny?” Leonard said.
“Hey, guys,” she said.
“Penny, is that you?” Leonard asked.
When the woman smiled, a slight glow returned. “Not exactly. I'm a cosmic being taking the form of Penny. You can call me Cosmic Penny. Or just Penny. You know. Whatever,” she said with a grin and a shrug.
She worse a red Starfleet mini-skirt with black pantyhose and black mini-boots. Her golden hair flowed down under a braid above the forehead.
“Wow,” Leonard said. Behind him, Howard and Raj gaped.
“Now hold on just a doggone minute,” Sheldon said with a hand on his hip. “Excuse me for saying so but if you're a cosmic being and you can take any form you want you become Galactus or Anubis or the Silver Surfer or Thor. The Marvel Comics superhero, I mean. Not the Asgard on 'Stargate' who looks like E-T.”
“More like an alien from Roswell,” Chloe said.
“Yeah, definitely,” Cosmic Penny said. “More like one of those guys.”
“What's your point, Sheldon?” Leonard groaned.
“My point is if you can take the form of anyone you want you become Iron Man or Superman or Data or the Human Torch. You become Worf or Teal'c or the Bizarro Phantom or even Plastic Man.”
Looking quite stern, Sheldon hit full Sheldon-lecture mode. “You become a Metron or a Gorn or an Organian or Obi-Wan Kenobi. You do not become Penny from the Cheesecake Factory in Pasadena.” Sheldon was quite screechy on this last point.
Tilting her head slightly, Penny smiled patiently. “Good to see you, too, Sheldon.”
“I'll tell you what, though,” C-Penny said with a proud little grin as she held her hands up. “I've got the powers of the Invisible Woman. That big old hole in your timemobile? I patched that right up with a force field.” Smiling, she piled one fist on top of another. “Yep, that was me. I did that.”
“Good job, Penny,” Leonard said. “Or Cosmic Penny.”
“You can call me Penny.”
“Well, 'Penny,'” Sheldon said pointedly. “You could have shown up sooner. Then I wouldn't have had to go through a hole in a timemobile.”
“Want to go back?” As Cosmic Penny jabbed the air with her hands, Sheldon jumped back. “Ha!” she said with a big smile.. “Just kidding.”
Sheldon glared.. “As Mayor Tate once said to Clark, I don't find that very amusing.”
“You know, Sheldon,” Chloe said. “If you hadn't gone out that hole---”
“You wouldn't have met Spock,” Leonard said.
“I got to meet Spock!” Howard shouted, clapping his hands and jumping.
Sheldon wore his usual look of placid stoic annoyance. “Still don't like how it happened,” he grumbled.
Howard gaped. “Wow. Penny with the powers of the Invisible Woman. And she's in a 'Star Trek' outfit. My dream woman.”
“Yeah,” Leonard said in a slight quivering voice. Raj just stood there slack-jawed.
Sheldon crossed his arms. “Not only have you taken the wrong form you could be doing more.”
Howard snapped out of his Penny-gazing reverie. “Sheldon's got a point. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love the whole Yeoman Rand look and everything. “ Next to him, Raj nodded, mouth open. “But a 'Cosmic Penny' won't exactly instill fear in the heart of the Joker, will it?” A frowning Raj nodded as a shrugging Howard held out his hands. “I mean, what's next? A cosmic being takes the form of Lana Lang and arm-wrestles the Joker?”
“Oh!” Sheldon exlaimed. “I'd like to see that.”
“Maybe she can serve him an espresso,” Howard said drily. “While the Joker turns us all into meteor freaks and Klingons with Goa'ulds in our stomachs.”
As Raj whispered in his ear, Howard, wearing a slightly annoyed impatient look, nodded. “Yes, Lana has a mean spin-kick. And I'm a big fan of Lana. But she still can't take on the Joker!”
“I could,” Sheldon said. The others stared. “If I was a cosmic being, I mean. I'd become as big as Galactus then I'd get rid of the rascally old Joker for good.” Holding an “attaboy” fist across his chest, Sheldon also adopted an “attaboy” look complete with a goofy grin. “Then I'd create a bunch of nice Sheldon universes.”
“Yeah, just what we need,” Leonard groaned as Raj frowned. “Multiple Sheldon universes.”
“Sheldon-verses?” Chloe curled her lower lip.
“All filled with trains no doubt,” Howard muttered.
“Oh, joy,” C-Penny said.
Chloe whispered to Leonard. “It's like I've said before: there's a Joker inside each one of us.”
Leonard made a face. “An insane clown who wants to control everything?”
Chloe grinned. “Maybe not the insane clown part. But the control freak part definitely.”
A silent Raj was barely able to look at Chloe or Penny.
“Oh, Raj, sweetie,” C-Penny said. “Did your Romulan ale wear off?” With a glum look, Raj nodded. “Must be from being out in the time currents and all that stress.” She held up a flask. “Here you go, sweetie.”
With an eager grin, Raj gulped it down.
“Wow, I can't believe I'm drinking Romulan ale on a timemobile. A timemobile with Archie and the Punisher and MacGyver and two Men In Black,” he gushed with extreme giddiness and an extreme grin. “And Penny in a 'Star Trek” outfit. That's so ridonkulous!”
“It doesn't get much better than this,” Howard admitted. With a dreamy look, he gazed off. “Unless Lana was also here in a 'Star Trek' outfit. Even if she can't take on the Joker.”
“So, guys,” Cosmic Penny lightly clapped her hands. “The Q and the Ancients wanted you to have someone familiar—that's me! Ta-da!” Crossing her legs, she put out her hands like a circus performer. “Because the thing is, you guys are doing a really great job.”
“Of course we are,” Sheldon sniffed. “Well, I am.”
“No, you aren't,” Raj said, drinking some more.
“Yeah, you don't really do much,” Howard said.
Chloe grinned as C-Penny glowed a little more. “You guys really helped Captain Kirk and Spock a lot today. In fact, you brought us one step closer to getting everything back to normal.”
“Really?” Leonard said.
“Uh, yeah,” from Chloe.
“You bet you did, sweetie. And you guys are going to help a lot more people in a lot more ways. Yay!” As C-Penny smiled and clapped her hands, both her face and her fingers emitted a warm golden glow.
“Cool.” Leonard beamed. “That was really nice of the Q and the Ancients to send us someone familiar.” He looked up. “Don't you think, Sheldon?”
Looking slightly miffed, Sheldon crossed his arms. “I would prefer a cosmic being more like my 'me-ma.'” “Me-ma” was Sheldon's affectionate nickname for his maternal grandmother.
Cosmic Penny responded with a sly smile. “Well, I can't help you there. But how about this, Sheldon?” She held up a plate piled high with cookies. “Here's cookies from your 'me-ma!'”
“Oh!” Sheldon eagerly ate.
“Sheldon,” Leonard said pointedly. “What do you say?”
“Thang you, Benny,” Sheldon said with his mouth full.
Tipping her head, C-Penny beamed. “You're very welcome, sweetie.”
Raj sipped more Romulan ale. “Hey, Leonard. Have you ever seen the Punisher smile?”
“Sure,” Leonard said. “He smiles all the time. Like when he uses his phaser to stun someone or disintegrate something.”
“So basically he smiles all the time then,” Howard said.
“The Punisher is great, and Archie and MacGyver are great,” Raj said with two thumbs up. “And our Men In Black are the best.”
Leonard looked over at the Sick Bay table where L and M flanked Clark while a man in plaid ran a tricorder over him. The monitor above indicated a gentle heartbeat.
Leonard waved to L and M. “Hey, guys.”
They waved back. “Hey, Lenny.”
Leonard lifted his chin at Chloe. “They call me 'Lenny.' It's a nickname.”
“Do you have a nickname, Chloe?” Howard asked.
“Can we call you 'Chloester?'” Raj asked with a big smile. .
Chloe winced. “Not really a fan of that name. Once I was in a mind-sifter operated by Grant Gabriel. When Lex on another world made this clone of his brother, he put a Goa'uld in his stomach. So Grant kept calling me 'Chloester' in that weird Goa'uld voice.” Making a face, she shook her head. “So again not really a fan of that name.”
“Understandable,” Leonard said.
“Sorry,” Raj said.
“Guys,” Cosmic Penny said. “Have you met my associate?” She gestured to the blond-haired man in plaid. Turning away from Clark, the man smiled.
“Jonathan Kent?” Leonard said with a head tilt-back.
The man laughed. “Yes and no. I'm actually a cosmic being taking the form of Jonathan Kent.”
Raj frowned. “That's weird.”
Leonard gave him a look. “Oh, yeah, Raj. Like so much of this is normal.”
Cosmic Jonathan laughed. “Normally I'd be at Cosmic Medical helping Heroes get better. But I figured I'd lend a hand here.” As he gestured with his thumb, he nodded toward Clark. “There was quite a crisis after all.”
“Oh, yeah,” M said. “You guys were a big help as Clark ripped apart the timemobile.”
“Big help,” L grunted.
Sheldon whispered to Cosmic Penny. “Were you?”
Smiling patiently, she shook her head.. “No, sweetie. That was sarcasm.” With cheerful squint-eyes, C-Penny smiled at L and M. “Come on, guys., We knew you would get that part under control.”
“But getting rid of a mental projection of the Joker?” C-Jonathan said with a little laugh in his voice. “That was another thing entirely.”
L waved his hand. “I could have taken him.”
“Me, too,” Howard said with a deep sniff as he clutched his belt buckle. “Even if I'm not a cosmic Lana Lang.”
C-Jonathan offered a big toothy smile. “Okay then. You guys can take on the Joker next time.”
“So,” Leonard said. “It sounds like as a cosmic being you can go anywhere you want.”
“No offense, Mister Kent. Or Cosmic Mister Kent,” Sheldon said. “But why aren't you out helping
S-G-One and the other teams?”
C-Jonathan responded with a light warm chuckle. “It doesn't quite work that way, Sheldon. Normally I don't make house calls. But when there's a big emergency like this, my transporter power automatically kicks in.”
Crossing his arms, Leonard nodded. “Clark turning into the Hulk and those other guys. That would be a big emergency.”
“It's a lot more than that, guys,” C-Jonathan said as he gave off a slight yellow glow. “What the Joker has done, tricking Clark into creating this new timeline, has a huge impact on the multiple universes. This new timeline, coming as it does from Prime Earth, the center of the multiple universes, is constantly sending out ripples throughout all the other universes. The Joker is now changing a bunch of universes and growing more and more in power.”
“That doesn't sound good,” Leonard said.
“It's definitely not good, Leonard.”
“It could get a lot worse, sweetie,” Cosmic Penny said.
C-Jonathan nodded. “Absolutely right, Penny. If the Joker succeeds in making this Smallville/'Star Trek' timeline permanent, which he's trying pretty hard to do, the Joker will become almost infinite in power. With no way to reverse any of it.”
“Cosmic Lana definitely can't take him on then,” Howard muttered.
Cosmic Jonathan rested his elbow on MacGyver's work bench. “As you know, guys, Clark is the only one who can change the timeline back. S-G-One has to get Clark back to the night when he saved Edith Keeler so they can undo all this.”
“That's got to be weird, though,” Sheldon said. “Two of you co-existing at the same point in time.”
Howard leaned in toward Raj. “Two Clarks, okay. Two Sheldons? Very scary.”
“On one world, there's a Sheldon who can duplicate himself,” Chloe whispered.
“Yikes,” Howard said.
C-Jonathan cleared his throat. “Getting back to important things: S-G-One can't take Clark back if he's going to act all crazy and turn into who-knows-what. So it's very important we help Clark get better.” Wincing, he looked over at Clark. “Something of the Joker is still in there. But I gave him something to sedate him. Until he can make a full recovery.”
“That's good, I guess,” Leonard said with a wince-frown. “But you have all these powers. Isn't there more you could do?”
“Actually, my powers are pretty limited,” C-Jonathan said with a big smile. “Your Mister MacGyver can probably do more tricks than I can.”
“Besides, we each have to do our part, sweetie,” Cosmic Penny said.
Nodding to Penny, C-Jonathan laughed. “What she said. We've all got a part to play, Leonard. Suppose you boys did all the medical stuff while I did the scientific stuff. Imagine how that would work out.”
Leonard shrugged. “Not too well, I guess.”
“It'd be a mess,” Sheldon admitted quietly. He looked directly at Cosmic Jonathan. “You probably wouldn't be as good at it as I am.”
“Exactly right, Sheldon,” C-Jonathan said with a chuckle. “This can all work out if we each just play our part. You guys have a big part to play in this, and Chloe can give you some idea about that.”
“It's true,” Chloe said with a brief squint-grin.
Rising from the work bench, C-Jonathan flicked his finger at the Sick Bay table. “Now, gentlemen, if you don't mind, we need to get back to our patient.” He laughed. “Make sure he doesn't punch any more holes in the walls.”
“I'm for that,” Leonard said.
Smiling, C-Penny waved with her fingers. “See you later, guys.”
As the two cosmic beings leaned in toward Clark, Sheldon beamed. “I like that version of Jonathan Kent. He's so cheerful and happy..”
“Even when a bunch of universes are in danger,” Howard noted drily.
“Our cosmic friends do have a point, though,” Chloe said. “You guys are very important in all this.”
“How?” Leonard asked.
“Well, I can't get into specifics, You know, changing the future and all that. But---”
“Oh, yeah, but you can let Spock know what's going on,” Leonard said.
Chloe smiled. “The thing is, Leonard, when you know the future you know exactly what to do and when to do it. Now Spock does, too.”
They gazed at each other.
Next to them, swirling transporter energy appeared.
“And here he is now,” Chloe said as she stepped aside. “Nice timing, Daniel. As always.”
Someone new materialized. He wore a dark jacket with the Stargate Command logo as well as glasses (the non-Clark-Kent kind). As he stood with his arms folded, he wore the most serious cool intense intelligent look.
Leonard's head went back slightly. “Doctor Jackson?” he said with a puzzled look. It was similar to the time he asked a large black neighbor if he was Doctor Cooper.
The man's slight smile was cool and smooth. “Cosmic Daniel Jackson, actually,” he said. “And I've got bad news, guys. There's Replicators on your timemobile.”
Metal spider-like robots began crawling all over the floor and the roof of the Sick Bay room.
“Go get the Punisher,” Cosmic Daniel ordered. “And MacGyver. We need all the phasers we can get.”
NEXT EPISODE
REPLICATOR ATTACK ON CLARK AND FRIENDS
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